The Mind of a Four-Year-Old

J: Mama
R: Son, Age 7

R: [Gasp!] mama – there’s blood on your finger!! get a band-aid, quick!!
J: Oh, rats, must be a hangnail.
R: Oh, I HATE hangnails!! I hate them!!… What’s a hangnail?
J: [explains]
R: Oh, yea. I HATE those! How old are you?
J: 36.
R: 26?
J: THIRTY-6.
R: [Gasp!] You’re almost a grandma!!!
J: I’m a grandma when you have babies. Are you almost going to have babies?
R: No. I’m never having babies. I’m going to be partners with P [R’s sister].
J: Partners with P?
R: Yes. I’m never going to marry.
J: Oh. What’s the difference between partners and marrying?
R: I don’t know.
J: Well, you can’t have babies with your sister.
R: Nope. Maybe she can have babies with her husband and we’ll just be partners.
J: What if she doesn’t have a husband?
R: She has to or she can’t play with mans. And, she has to play with mans or it won’t be fun.
J: What if she wants a wife?
R: You can’t have two WIFES!!! Then you would have FOUR babies! And THAT would be TERRIBLE.
J: Why?
R: FOUR babies?!? You would be CRAZY!
J: Well, sure. It’s not such a hot idea to have more kids than parents around. Scary. But, why would two wives have to have four babies?
R: Because each wife has to have her own two. This is boring. Grab my feet!

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