Plastic Bertrand n’est pas Plastic Bertrand

Back in 1982, when I saw the movie “Summer Lovers” at Paul Swangard’s house, there were two songs that I determined, at the time, to be awesome.  “Ça plane pour moi” was one, and “Just Can’t Get Enough” from Depeche Mode’s first record (before Vince Clarke left to form Yazoo) was the other.  That one of these totally awesome songs has turned out to be a cynical media fabrication does, I admit, sadden me ever so slightly.  Fortunately,though, it’s also the one that turns out to actually be a crappy song.

Apparently Plastic Bertrand (who is not actually Plastic Bertrand anyway) did not really sing “Ça plane pour moi.”  Shocking.  Nor did he sing any of the songs on “his” four albums.  Wait…he had albums?

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVDfmn_TMkI

I wanted to put both videos in here, but Depeche Mode is now also a cynical media fabrication and doesn’t allow embedding the video.  Instead, here is the original video for “Don’t Go” by Yazoo.  It sounds a lot like it could have been on that first Depeche Mode record.  It’s impressive, really, that they survived the departure of Clarke who wrote nearly all the songs on that first DM record.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VML1u8KJjEo

This Pitchform article has all the gory details about the Plastic Bertrand affair.

Ça plane pour moi (English Translation)

“Wham! Bam! my cat Splash
lies on my bed with his tongue puffed out
by drinking all my whisky.
As for me, not enough sleep, drained, persecuted,
I had to sleep in the gutter
where I had a flash
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
in four colours

Allez-oop! One morning
a darling came to my home,
a cellophane puppet with Chinese hair,
a  plaster, a hangover,
drank my beer in a large rubber glass
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
like an Indian in his igloo

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This work for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me

Allez-oop! The chick***, what a gas!
what a vibration!
to be sent on the door mat
filed, ruined, drained, filled
You are the King of the divan!
she says to me in passing
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I am the King of the divan

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This workss for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me

Allez-oop! Don’t mind, don’t worry
Don’t affect me
It’s not today
that the sky will fall on my head
and I’ll be without glue
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This life’s  for me

Allez-oop! my chick has gone away,
flew away, finally had enough, to break
the sink, the bar, leaving me alone
like a complete jerk
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I’ve put my foot in it

This works for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me
This workss for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This works for me
This workss for me, this works for me
This works for me me me me me”

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