ADHD

The jumble is what I’m used to.

It’s like cotton. Packed in tight.

Sometimes it gets itchy, but most of the time it’s not so bad.

It’s like a big box of old toys, mementos, shirts, thoughts. It’s like the box is packed tight with cotton.

It’s safe (we can assume) since being so tightly packed, the contents of the box won’t have been damaged all those times that the box was dropped. But what’s the use of even having the stuff in the box if it’s so tightly packed that you can’t find that one thing (your keys) that you just put in there? The problem is that when you put something (that phone number) in the box, it doesnt’ stay at the top. It could be anywhere. There’s no organization. The more you (I) dig, the harder it is to find anything. It’s the fucking cotton. It’s just in the way of everything. But at least it’s soft.

So now I hear that maybe there’s a way to get the cotton out. A way to make the searches for things (keys) go easier. A way for the things placed in the top of the box to stay there. For them to be as easy to find as they seem to be for other people to find in their boxes.

It sounds great, right? I mean, who wouldn’t want their box to be more useful? To be more organized?

But what if all that stuff packed tight at the bottom of the box hasn’t been kept safe and sound by the cotton?

What if there are weevils way down there in the box and they’ve been eating?

What if some of those things (toys, shirts) are gone forever? What if they never really got put into the fucking box in the first place? What if there’s been so much cotton in the box for all these years that things (keys) that I put in the box didn’t really ever find a place? Maybe it will be like Geraldo and the empty tomb.

If that’s the case. Well, is cotton really so bad?

But the weevils. I worry about the weevils.