Judge Stops 13-Year-Old From Having Abortion
Fucking Judge. Not suprisingly, it’s in Forida. Though the rest of our dear little country is starting to look a lot like Florida these days.
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Personal
Two Weeks of Misery
It think that I may hate DC. Or maybe DC hates me. For the past two weeks I’ve been nearly unable to breathe and coughing constantly. Doc has me on shitloads of medicine that doesn’t seem to be doing anything. It seems that the further I get from Oregon, the less happy my body is. Fucking East coast.
So, now I’m off to take the kids to the zoo. That oughtta finish me off.
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Back in Black
It’s taken me a few weeks to get this thing back up and running. I’ve just been way to busy with other shit and nobody reads my blog anyway so who cares?
I’m trying to decide if I want to bring all my old posts over to this new system or not. Probably not, but if I get bored enough I just might.
All About Me
I am an mostly sedentary activist who thinks that corporate greed, right-wing politics, and the christian right (is there really a difference?) is turning our world to shit. In my professional life I have actually been known to demonstrate a passing familiarity with competence for hours on end.
I was a rock star once for about fifteen minutes and have nothing to show for it but a few CDs, some videos that are starting to deteriorate, a gold record for a band that I played with ten years before they made it big, loss of hearing in my right ear, and a slight tendency to drink beer.
I can be selfish.
I get too worked up about things I care about, but have a sometimes alarming disconnection with the world around me.
I never, ever, ever get enough sleep.
The right song at the right time can completely change me.? Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) this effect only seems to last a few hours at the most.
Julie is a Superstar
I am partnered to the most amazing woman ever. She has completed collecting all data for her PhD dissertation, been accepted to her 1 year internship next year, taught three classes (or more) a week for a couple of years now, designed one of them and developed the syllabus herself (no textbook exists, so she’ll just write it herself and, oh might as well submit it to McGraw-Hill) learned to quilt (by dreaming about it), learned HTML to help with our website, birthed two not-tiny kids, learned to make candy (not the easy shit either), helped me immeasurably to cope with depression, and managed to stay in love with me even when I make it hard.
Life is mad. Life is hard. Life is a struggle. Life can be incredibly sad.
But without J…life would be pointless.
What a superstar, truly.
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Continued (aliens)
I never heard back from Mike. I’m starting to think that maybe he was on to something. I mean, he seemed to be pretty serious (about the aliens) and then never got back to me.
He just moved to San Francisco a couple of weeks ago from here in Cincinnati and I’m not too sure how screwed on his thinking cap is right now. I just hope he was reading as I was sending my messages to him even though he wasn’t typing back. Maybe he didn’t want to slow me down. Sometimes I get going pretty fast. I was using my computer and those go pretty fast. Even to San Francisco. I like to call it ‘Frisco, but that really makes people who live there mad so I only do it real quiet. And never on the bus. I think they have a thing there called BART. I wouldn’t say it on BART either. Just ’cause it goes real fast doesn’t mean they won’t get mad.
I wonder if he had time to try the garbage disposal, or if he even had batteries in his boombox.
I liked Mike.
But that’s what happens when a kid from Ohio goes to California: More often than not he gets eaten. I know. I’ve been there. I always take my boombox and plenty of spare batteries just in case. You never…ever…know.
Yours,
Tim
Continued (aliens) Read More »
What if you heard a strange noise?
Mike: I just had a strange thought. What if you heard a strange noise from outside your window. You moved closer to see what it was as it got louder and louder. You couldn’t put your finger on what it quite was. Then you realized ugly alien beings were invading.
Mike: That would be freaky as shit.
Tim: What would you do?
Tim: They would probably want to mate with you. or experiment or something. Most likely it’s eating you that they’re interested in. Or something worse.
Tim: Maybe they would be nice. But they might not be. Can they run fast? How about climb walls or fly? Breathing our air may be tricky for them so be sure not to get near water if that’s what they breathe in. uunless water kills them or something like in that one movie, in which case get in water. But then there’s breathing problems for you. You will have to come up sometime.
Tim: When you do they will try to take off your head. When they come down to do this (if they are flying) then you can splash them to kill them.
Tim: But if they are not harmed by water this won’t do any good so you will have to try something else. Maybe they are afraid of certain sounds. Try a crying baby first. Lots of people get freaked by this sound. But it might just make them hungry if they eat people, cause if they do then they would probably like babies best and this would be a bad way to try and frighten them.
Tim: Another good sound to try is a garbage disposal. They are hard to carry around and need electricity so you will need a backpack to carry it in and also a battery pack. Or maybe a recording of the sound that you can play on your boombox (you’ll need batteries for this too) would be better.
*** Auto-response from Mike: I am currently away from the computer.
Tim: Maybe it’s a sound that would not be very obvious to you or me. Maybe the sound of a doorbell. Or cruching leaves. If you want, you could put a bunch of these on a tape for the boombox you are carrying in your backpack and try a bunch out to see what works best. On the other hand, if I were an alien I think that sounds would not be too scary so you might want to try something else. And plus, what if they don’t have any ears?
Tim: Did you think of that already?
Tim: You should forward these instructions to lots of other people and let them know in what order you plan on attempting them. Then when the first few don’t work and you get killed by the aliens, others will not waste time trying the same things (you know, water or sounds) that you did and just die needlessly.
Tim: They may not have any way of knowing how far in the process you got exactly but at least they won’t start at the very first one and waste too much time before getting to one that might work.
Tim: So what do we have so far?
Tim: 1. Air
Tim: 2. Water
Tim: 3. Sounds
Tim: a. Baby crying
Tim: b. Garbage disposal
Tim: c. Doorbell
Tim: d. Drunching leaves
Tim: Feel free to add some more and let me know. I’m going to send these on to some friends of mine who know about aliens to see what they think too. Good luck Mike.
Tim: Mike?
*** Auto-response from Mike: I am currently away from the computer.
Tim: OK. Write back when you get a chance.
*** Auto-response from Mike: I am currently away from the computer.
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Totally Wired
I’m all wired. Not in the normal geeky way, mind you. Not in the excited way, and not in the too much coffee way either. I’m all wired in a totally new and supremely annoying way: via a Holter Monitor.
You see, my heart has started doing this really irritating thing where every minute or so it seems to…ha ha, get this: stop beating for a second and then beat once really hard and then just keep going like nothing happened. Y’know? I mean, what the fuck? Really!
Now normally I wouldn’t really mind, but I’d been thinking that I’d kind of like to start doing drugs on a semi-regular basis again and this may throw a real crimp in my plans. Well this, and the kids. OK, so I really had no real plans to find me some really quality mescaline and go lay in the back yard all night. I hadn’t even thought for a second about how much more I like Scary Monsters by David Bowie when I’m all twitchy on acid. And believe you me, the thought of doing a little X and climbing a tree hasn’t crossed my mind for years. Honest!
So now I’m sitting here at work, all wired up, boxy thingy hanging from a necklace holster, electrodes firmly stuck to five or six spots on my chest (fuck me if that ain’t gonna hurt to take off), and every single iota of my attention focused on every single beat of my heart.
I mean, I’m not really worried. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. I’ve taken really good care of my body over the years. Oh wait, that wasn’t me. That was someone else. Oh well. Here’s hoping for the best.
Not a Neighborhood Guy
So apparently weather like this means one thing for men in my neck of the woods: wash your car. I never got the memo. Luckily I picked up on what was going on through my amazing powers of observation and did ours too. Whew! Almost found me out. It’s bad enough that I don’t know a damn thing about cars and don’t really care. To be the only guy on the block not out scrubbing it to a painful shine in a bright sunny day…well I’m really not sure what they’d do to me.
Not a Neighborhood Guy Read More »